There Is A Beauty To Acceptance
by dismaynight
Summary: ..."He wants to slap her, and scream at her that it’s not him she wants, it couldn’t be..." but she has changed just as he had. It is easier for her not to let go of someone she never held onto. / KakaSaku, Naruto's POV


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or anything within Naruto. **

Wrote this on a whim.

Pairing: KakaSaku

* * *

"There's a beauty to the way he speaks, you know," and she leans her face into her hand -- something she hasn't done in _years_.

This sentence is of the type that earns that surprisingly rare twist of the eyebrows from the sophisticatedly simple delinquent to her left; the very same delinquent who only she calls such a ridiculous thing, for he has long since passed that stage in his life. He, actually, is shocked whenever the chance for her to call him a loving nickname pops up and it's 'delinquent' that she dubs him, especially considering all the long years that have passed since he defaced the Hokage monument with a sly and foxy grin, all the disgusting and grueling assassinations he's signed up to perform, all the people who have changed heart after one conversation with him, all the times _he's_ changed heart after just one conversation. All things considered, his best female friend, head in her hand beside him, obviously has trouble letting things go.

Which is the very reason why, in this moment, he believes she is talking about the man who, when he was a boy, she obsessed over; it _must_ be the man out there on the training field, sparring their former sensei with a keen eye and fleeting chuckle. The only thing that contradicts this is that it was _not that man_ who spoke a grunt of a sentence after being gut-punched into a sapling of a tree, standing with a creak in the knee and removing painful splinters from unmentionable and invisible-to-the-eye places that are a pure wonder to have received such annoying pricks in the first place, especially considering that they were _clothed _and_ covered_ unmentionables. It still could have been who Naruto thought it was, though -- the man had said something rather… 'cool', in Sakura standards, just a few moments ago.

But the real reason why it confuses him is that she has not complimented the man in years -- not even when he came back from an S-rank mission with broken ribs, mangled fingers, busted veins, and dripping gashes, asking casually where he could get a new hitai-ate, because his old one had been lost over a cliff-side; spoken like a true tough guy, like the kind of guy every girl wants (which was definitely true in his case). No, back then she had rolled her eyes at him, deliberately grabbed his arm on a rather excruciating spot, and pushed him into the hospital lobby, leaving him under Naruto's watch. Shikamaru told him later that she had gone to their former teacher's -- who had returned from some classified mission with cuts, slashes, and gashes in every shape and size -- apartment to heal _him, _instead of making sure that Sasuke was healed and perfect again.

And yet, now, she was saying that _Sasuke_ had beauty in his voice?

He shook his head and left this mystery to the dogs, returning his interested gaze to the spar in front of them. He was fine and happily entertained, his mind relieved of attempting to crack the puzzle that was Sakura's head, until she spoke again, this time in such a way that he felt he shouldn't have heard it.

"There's a beauty to his eye, too, when he smiles," and she blinked a few times in quick succession, "…_when_ he smiles. Otherwise, it's back to tortured... and frail...."

Naruto stares at his friend for a long time, but decides, with a solemn leave-verbal-thought-alone reminder in his mind, that he'd best leave worse-enough alone. Upon her shaking her head and standing with the imitation of a proud smile, he realizes a spar-victor has stepped forth. He wants to slap her when he realizes her smile is for the loser: Kakashi.

But, with a half-knowing, half-prevaricated grin, he treats them to ramen.

After ten minutes of slurping and mild chatter, he hears Sakura say, "There's a beauty to the way he eats." This is also after Sasuke has long-since finished eating his ramen and is sipping at a cup of sake.

"There's a beauty to the way he walks," spoken as their teacher leaves, limping, after excusing himself for a long night's rest.

"And there's a beauty to the way he sleeps," muttered as she scoots her bowl away from her.

Naruto wants to shake her and tell her that it's Sasuke she's talking about -- he'd even be happy if it was _himself_, heaven forbid. He wants to slap her, and scream at her that it's not _him_ she wants, it couldn't be, that's practically _illegal_, isn't it?!

But Naruto has changed -- those kinds of juvenile reactions can only exist in his mind. He has no control over her anymore, like the little he had once upon a time, in a land far, far away, where ninjas existed happily and protected their beautiful village with plastic ninja stars and loving smiles. That image bled away a (tiredly) _long_ time ago, and now he is left with the real image of their story: decaying organs and decaying bones from months and years of strain, bloody knives and un-washable crimson stains on the hands of small children, withering eyes that have witnessed good friends being odiously torn asunder limb by bleeding limb, and morphine thoughts of home and people to protect as you grasp for a will to gather up your out-tumbled intestines again and walk back towards praising eyes and warm embraces that don't feel so warm anymore....

Yes, he has definitely changed -- even though he still dreams optimistically of being the Hokage one day -- and this thought makes him realize that _she_ has changed, too. She knows the real image of ninja, she knows heartache, she knows how old they are (and oh, the age difference in sinful), and she definitely knows how to give up. She gave up on Sasuke, after a while, and she even gave up on Naruto, when she saw that he had long-since given up on her. He realizes that it is for this very reason that she says the things she says now; Kakashi was never something she held onto, never something she fought for, never someone she took too seriously. So it is easier for her to _not let go_ of something that she isn't holding onto.

And it is with those thoughts that Naruto finally focuses on Sakura's face for the first time.

"There's a beauty…" she begins, but it is Naruto who finishes it, once and for all, and makes her smile the type of smile that he knows all too well -- the smile of feeling accepted.

"…to the way he lives."

His small grin is that of understanding, even as she bounces (God, how long has it been that she's done that?) away in the direction her beauty walks.


End file.
